Wednesday, February 29th, 2012

*Customer approaches register with his Iphone and a case for it in his hand.*

Customer:  I bought this case and it doesn't fit my phone.
Employee:  Okay what kind of phone do you have?
Customer:  Iphone 4s.
Employee:  Then this case will fit your phone.
Customer:  No this is for the Iphone4.
Employee:  Yes, but they are the same size so it will fit.

*The customer holds his phone up next to the case to see the size comparison.  He points out to the employee that the holes and buttons on his phone do not line up with the ones for the case.  This is because he is holding his phone upside-down.*

Employee:  Sir you are holding the phone the wrong way.

*The customer's wife then explains to her husband that he is holding the phone the incorrect way and tells him to turn it around.  The customer does so and faces his phone the correct way.  He stares at it for a few seconds blankly, then proceeds to turn the phone back over to its original orientation.*

Customer:  No it doesn't line up right.

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

*Customer approaches an employee holding a green lanyard.*

Customer:  Excuse me.  Do you have any other lanyards?
Employee:  Well we keep them in a few places around the store, I'm not sure where you looked.
Customer:  ...
Employee:  Okay well we have some up front-
Customer:  Oh... those are all of them??
Employee:  ...If you already saw those, like I said we have them in a few places. There are also some in the back by the poster display.

*Customer stares blankly at the employee until he physically leads her down down the aisle to the poster display that was clearly visible from where they were originally standing.*

Customer:  Oh...do you have any team ones?
Employee:  We don't have any sports team lanyards in stock right now if that's what you mean.
Customer:  Oh...so you don't carry them?
Employee:  No, we just don't have them in stock.  We'll get some eventually but I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly when.
Customer:  Oh...so...you don't know when?
Employee:  No, we don't.  It could be next week or it could be months.
Customer:  Oh...

*The employee excuses himself from the customer to return to what he was working on originally.  After a few minutes pass, the customer again approaches the employee.*

Customer:  So... so you don't have any team ones?
Employee:  We don't have any in stock right now, no.
Customer:  Oh...so...do you know when you will be getting them in? Cause you used to have them.
Employee:  No we do not.
Customer:  Oh...

Sunday, February 19th, 2012

*Customer approaches the register.*

Employee:  Hello.

Customer:  Hi.

Employee:  How are you today?

Customer:  Are you the one that's getting married!?

Employee:  ...No?

Wednesday, February 15th, 2012

*A customer approaches an employee holding an Iphone in her hand.*

Customer:  Can you help me find a case for an Iphone 3gs?
Employee:  Sure, but just letting you know, the phone you're holding is an Iphone 4.
Customer:  Well, how am I supposed to know that!?

*The customer storms off.*

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Customer:  Do you guys have that thing so I can listen to my Ipod in my car?
Employee:  We have a few things for that, do you have a preference for what kind you get?
Customer:  Wait what?
Employee:  Okay, we have auxiliary cables that you can use if your car has a port for it.
Customer:  No...I don't think I have one of those.
Employee:  Okay, we have cassette adapters if you have a cassette player.
Customer:  I have a CD player.
Employee:  Well then your best bet is an FM transmitter which can play your Ipod through your car radio by setting the radio station to match it.
Customer:  Hm... You guys used to have the ones like the cassette adapter but for CD players.  Do you still have those?
Employee:  We have never had anything like that.
Customer:  No I've seen them.  You can play an Ipod through the CD player. You guys used to have them.
Employee:  Not only do we not have them, but such an item does not exist.
Customer:  No! You guys definitely used to have them.  My friend got one here.
Employee:  They really don't exist.
Customer:  But I'm sure...

*It took a lengthy explanation of exactly how CDs, CD players, and Cassette adapters work before the customer was convinced that her desired item was in fact fictional.*

Wednesday, February 8th, 2012

*Customer approaches employee holding a novelty candy item.*

Customer:  If I buy a lot of these can I get a discount?
Employee:  No sorry;  we can't give volume discounts.
Customer:  But I want to buy a lot of them.
Employee:  That's fine, but it will still be the normal price.
Customer:  But what if I buy a whole bunch?
Employee:  No matter how much you buy, it is the same price.
Customer:  What if I buy all of them though??
Employee:  Same price.
Customer:  Really?
Employee:  Yea, really.
Customer:  Seriously?